Sunday, January 2, 2011

Chapter 1

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much the time cannot erase


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What is a memory? Though a memory is defined as being a noun, I have trouble believing it is.
A memory is not a person. It may speak to me and offer companionship when I need it most, but it is not a human being. A memory does not have a brilliant mind; a beating heart.
A memory is not a place. I may visit often and enjoy the companionship of others who have made the trip with me, but it is not a place we’re physically capable of taking ourselves.
A memory is not a thing. It may have a beginning and an end, but you cannot reach out and touch a memory. You cannot hold onto those who lurk in your memory no matter how hard you try.

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Memories do not exist. They simply aren’t real. The moment you convince yourself that memories are real is the moment you lose sight of reality.
Scars are real. Scars are the only true reminders if what has happened in your past. While memories may lie, scars can only tell the truth. A physical scar raised above the surface of the skin cannot make up an event; it can only show you the truth of what happened.

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My story is told in scars. Each scar has been shaped into me for a purpose; to remember the past. If it weren’t for the obvious reminders every time I look in the mirror, my dull mind would easily repress the memory of my Lacey.

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Lacey Gordon no longer physically exists. She has been gone for many years now. She is now nothing but a memory, but like all memories, my memory of Lacey lies. My scars of Lacey are incapable of lying. They are Lacey’s existence engraved within me forever.

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“I love you, Lacey,” I whisper, lowering the blade, so sharp and silver, to the inside of my wrist, “this is for you.”


Originally known as Goodbye. Can also be read here.

A large bolt of lightning and the distant sound of thunder was all it took for Lacey Gordon to begin shaking in fear. Her small lips trembled and her breath began to speed up with no signs of slowing down again.
"The storm," She whispered silently to herself as a lone tear escaped her left eye and fell on the crisp white bed sheets, leaving a small wet puddle in the spot it had landed, "It's coming."

Lacey continued trembling under the thick blankets of the bed. Despite the thick layer of sweat on her body as a result of the intense heat, Lacey was unbearably cold.
She blinked her large brown eyes continuously; allowing her tears to fall, one by one, down her sweat-drenched face. Lacey was aware that the storm would come for her one day, but she never expected it to be so soon.
I never got to say goodbye she thought to herself as her once silent tears turned into large sobs of sorrow.
"I know you're here!" She yelled emerging from under the bed sheets, both angry and broken and the same time, "Show yourself!" Lacey continued hysterically sobbing as she shifted her eyes throughout her room to find Him.

In an attempt to find Him, Lacey twisted her body to find herself sitting on the edge of the ugly brass hospital bed. She glanced around the room once again, her tears continuing to drop down her face to her beaten legs below.
She finally Him standing in the corner with an expression of genuine calmness.
"Come to me," Him called to her in a hushed tone as he used its arms to call her forward, "Come to the light the storm has provided."

Lacey picked up her right leg, using all the strength her sickly body could provide, placing in gently on the cold linoleum floor below. She breathed deeply out of her nose to try and sooth the pain she was feeling as her foot hit the ground. Gentle tears of pure pain left her weakening brown eyes as she lifted her other leg and placed it on the floor next to her other one.
Lacey used her minimal arm strength to push her body upward to a standing position.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She yelped with more force than she had ever screamed before due to the horrible pain of supporting her body using her two weak and broken legs.
"Come to me," Him called to her once again with the same calm expression, despite Lacey's horrible pain, "Come to the light the storm has provided."

With the smallest bit of strength left in her thirteen-year-old body, she walked over to Him, leaning on him for support as she cried on his shoulder.
"There, there," it calmly hushed Lacey as he held her closely for protection, "It will all be over soon."
"No!" Lacey cried as she lifted her legs and placed her body in Him's arms to keep herself from fainting in both pain and shock, "I didn't get to say goodbye!" She sobbed as she wiped her nose of its shoulder.
"You will see them again someday," Him continued to hold her closely as she cried in defeat on his shoulder.
"But I'm not ready," Lacey whispered silently as she tightened her grip on Him as she tried to prepare herself to leave.
"But my dear," It spoke in a tone much louder than Lacey had expected, "You are ready. Please come home. We have all been waiting for you."
"Okay," Lacey wiped the final tear from her eye as she clung to Him as it continued to carry her out of the pain of her life.

"Would you like to say goodbye to them?" Him asked as he looked into Lacey's glimmering eyes.
"Yes," She responded flatly as it carried her into her out into the hospital lobby where Lacey's family was sleeping.
"They cannot see you," It informed Lacey as it lowered her down to her parent's eye level, "But they can hear you."
"D-dad, m-mother," Lacey began with a deep breath, "I love you," She spoke clearly as a fresh batch of tears fell down her face.
"...goodbye..." She heard her mother hush to her with a naive expression before she fell back into her deep sleep.
Little did she know that Lacey would never again see the earth, for she would be home in the house of God; now and forever.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Hello, and welcome to the blog for my new story pressure. This story came to me in a flash one night as I was watching Jersey Shore (universal inspiration for most great ideas), but the story has nothing to do with Jersey Shore. At all. Main inspiration for this story came from an amazing Mike Posner song called Please Don't Go (pay attention to the lyrics).
As this story is new, I'm not quite sure what it may become, so if swearing, nudity, and me being all pervy is going to make you all pissy, I wouldn't recommend sticking around too long. I'm trying to let this story hit at a deeper level- I'm done with fluff (except for my legacy; that will remain fluffy).
So without further ado, let the story... BEGIN!